For many years I have been known as a social butterfly. It's funny to me because I consider myself pretty shy in the first meeting of people but I hide it well, many years of training myself I guess. I will be the person who at a party will search out someone who is quiet or feeling out of their element to chat. This is in part that I've been in that position before, or in hopes to make a new friend. And it usually works. I've made great friends this way and I've seen the relief that's come over their faces when someone comes to talk to them.
But it doesn't always go so well. Sometimes I chat with them and realizes we're not meant to be friends. I'm ok with that, but it makes me think of my own "friend style". Do you know what I mean? Some of us are reluctant to invite others into our social circle right away. Some of us assume you suck until you prove yourself otherwise. Me? I have a tendency to think all people are great until they prove otherwise.
Case in point - about a month or two ago some friends of mine got new roommates. My friends own a house (married couple) but rent a room out upstairs. Another couple (early twenties) moved in and they got along great. So a bunch of us were invited over for BBQ night and to meet the new roommates. I thought they were nice, had good conversation. That is until the girl asked me if I was pregnant.
Yeah, you read that right. This girl committed a big time faux pas. You never ask anyone that unless you know for sure, especially someone you just met. I could tell she was embarrassed and a little naive, but to this day I've been "done" with her.
The problem is now that I run into her sometimes. Obviously she lives in the same house as my friends, but now whenever she sees me she shrinks to as small as she can. I shouldn't care so much but I would think she would try to remedy the situation or overcome that obstacle. But that's just me. I'd move past the comment (yes, I actually have) and now I'm more concerned that she won't talk to me at all.
*shrug* I guess sometimes you're just not meant to be friends.
What kind of friendship style do you have?