Victoria's Secret, I'm sorry but my breasts are not that big.

To continue where we left off, last weekend I went shopping for dresses for tonight's wedding. As usual I felt a little like goldilocks, things either didn't fit right or in person they didn't have the same appeal. I found one dress that I put on hold, a little black sparkly number (and yet not one of the ones I showed previously) that definitely had the ability to be worn again. But there was something about it that didn't have me super excited like I should be.

So I headed downstairs to yet ANOTHER dress department in Nordstrom. Seriously, how many departments do they need? I always get turned around there. Anyway...this is where I found THE DRESS.

This is the one, but my dress is in navy. I put it on and at first it seemed a little bland to me, but M was convinced this was it. That's when I figured it out...it was too long. The designer (Mark & James by Badgley Mischka) thinks every woman is 6 feet tall so it was hitting my knees. A quick call to the alterations department had the hem ready to be shortened and a little tuck at the zipper and we were good to go. You know, until I saw the price tag. Cue eyes bulging and a slight amount of hyperventalating until I calmed myself down. I remembered I had a large gift card that would bring it down to reasonable levels. Thank goodness for that. Pair the dress with some strappy silver heels and some purply nail polish on my toes and I'm good to go.

It's actually darker purple than this.

I went to pick it back up on Wednesday when the alterations were done and at the same time needed to pick up a new strapless bra. This is where I decided the only thing worse than shopping for new jeans is a new bra. I know some people say bathing suits, but this was just lame.

Confidential: my breasts are not any kind of crazy size. I've had small ones for most of my life and can go braless no problem. Last year or so I gained a little bit of weight and I went up to a 34B and I was happy. Normal sized boobs.

Logically when I started shopping and a sales girl came over I told her 34B, right? I grab a couple different ones, heading into the dressing room and surprise! None of them fit right. Some the band was too small (hello weight), some the cups were overflowing. The poor sales girl comes to check on me and I'm babbling like an idiot stating "either my boobs grew or these sizes are crazy!" She wants to measure me just to make sure. Cue sighs on my end.

"Your band size is right, but I think you need a bigger cup size. Let me get you a C"

*blinks*

Umm...ok.

Surprisingly these fit like a glove. Maybe my boobs grew?

I pick a bra and head to pay and thankfully it's less than the dress. But no, I'm not done feeling crappy. I head over to Victoria's Secret.

Victoria's Secret normally isn't so bad. Most the bras I buy are from there and they're comfy plus kind of cute/sexy depending on what I'm wearing that day. So I thought, "hey, I saw a pink cheetah strapless online, let's try that on".

I start the process again. Talk to the sales girl, she wants to size me and says I'm a 34B. Let's go to the dressing room.

Surprise! This one doesn't fit. Salesgirl gives me the next cup size up.

Double surprise! This one doesn't really fit either. Band size is fine, but that little bit between your breasts is far enough out that I can put a few pencils in there.

Me: "Umm...I don't think this fits either".

Salesgirl: "No way, it fits perfectly."

Me: "Do you see this" *points*

Salesgirl: "Oh, it's supposed to be like that."

NO IT IS NOT!

Me: "Hmm, I think I need to think about this a little more."

*walks out*

*end scene*

There was no way I was going to buy a 34D - and if you've seen me you'd know there's no way in hell my boobs are that big. Thanks Victoria's Secret for making me feel fat.

But on another note...I hope to have wedding pics soon enough. We head up tonight, should be fun!

It's Not A Donut

This week has been very much of the suck. Add in April Fool's Day, which normally is kind of a fun day, I am not amused.

I've had this intense pain in my tailbone for about a week or so and thought that I could just wait it out. Back in Nov/Dec I fell HARD on the ice and bruised my tailbone and thought it had all worked itself out, but the pain came back ten fold this time around. That in itself would be cause for alarm but my brain insisted I was just fine and to wait it out.

Ok kids - that is NOT a good idea. Turns out I had a cyst that ruptured and I had to get my butt to the dr's office ASAP. I did all this and got antibiotics to treat the infection, and also had to pick up a cushion to sit on. Three different stores later and I finally have it and no, it's not a donut. Don't try to call it that or I will have to poke you hard. :-)

Because of all this time on the couch you'd think that I'd be blogging like crazy or something like that. But no, my Google Reader and myself have turned into life long friends and I'm reading all those blogs I follow like crazy and thinking "why can't I come up with something decent to say today??" Another day, maybe.

Instead I think about what to eat, how to actually get up to get said food and remind myself that yes, I should get back to the job search.

Blast From the Past

There are only a few things more awkward or weird than running into an old boss, especially when the partnership didn't end on the best terms.

Let's flash back approx. 6 years ago. I was working at a small company not far from my house in a temp capacity. I got along really well with my boss (I was in reception, she in office mgmt.) and we were the same age. We ended up taking classes together at the community college and even spent time together outside of work. Her boss however, was not as pleasant. He was a little too friendly, pretty much the poster boy for sexual harrassment.

I spent approx. 1 year at this company in the temp capacity, the only real explanation for that is that I was apprehensive about going through the job search again. I think they kept me on as a temp as a precautionary way to make sure I couldn't sue the company due to this particular guy. But one day his post-partum suffering wife got the idea that I was having an affair with him (who knew what he said at home - no freakin' way on my part) and within the next week there was a phone call from my temp agency telling me not to come into work that day. Nice.

Running into this woman was definitely a surprise but it was nice to see her. I was updated on a few old employees and found out that the company folded about a year after I left. My spiteful nature says "serves them right" but I know everyone who worked there is better off now.