Friday, October 9, 2009

Do You Have Road Rage?

I don’t know about you, but I have a serious case of road rage. Nothing insane, I don’t follow people home, get out of the car or anything, but from the very first time I drove by myself the profanities have spewed from my mouth in record numbers. I jokingly blame this on my mother who has the same habit (she’s now trying to do better due to my little brother being in the car), but I had no clue I had this problem until I drove solo.

I think this is mostly due to the fact that most people cannot drive to save their lives. Or I should say, each of them has their own set of rules they follow and they don’t always match with everyone else’s set. So I provide to you below my own…

Information Not Always Found in the Normal Drivers Manual

Putting your turn signal on does not entitle you to a spot in the lane next to you.
Just because you did not prepare properly by getting into the appropriate lane it does not mean I have to let you in.

If you realize you’re about to miss your exit, it does not mean that you should do a hard turn of the wheel to make said exit.
I know it’s a crazy idea, but the next exit is perfectly acceptable to get off of and to turn around.

It is never acceptable to go less than 60 mph in the left lane.
This is the passing lane or the “I’m going faster than everyone else” lane.

For those of us lucky enough to have a designated time for a carpool lane (5am-7pm), if you are using this lane outside of these hours this is NOW THE LEFT LANE.
See previous explanation.

If I decide to pass you, the appropriate response is NOT to speed up when I attempt to pass you.
This makes you an asshole and you deserve coal in your stocking.

If you see a cop who has pulled someone over, you do NOT need to slam on your breaks.
Unless you’re going waaaay over the speed limit the cop is far too busy with the guy they just pulled over. Letting your foot off the gas slightly is good enough.

Similarly, if you pass a cop waiting to pull people over, hitting your breaks is a red flag that you have been speeding.
Seriously, it’s OBVIOUS you’ve been speeding.

Checking the lanes next to you before you merge is a good idea.
Some of us have small cars and are sometimes hard to see (despite being bright red). I don’t want you to drive over me.

The horn on your car is really only there to let other people know the light has turned green.
Do you have road rage? That’s why you yell – you feel better and no one outside of the car can hear you.

What would you add to this list? Or do you think mine are crazy?


  1. Alright, sister...I'm with you on ALL of these, except the whole, "if you put on your blinker, I don't have to let you in." I'm a huge believer in Road Karma---meaning that if you can at all, you should let others in, be a nice driver, etc. That being said, if you're an ASS and speed up and pass a billion people and then attempt to cut me off so you don't have to get off on an exit or something? I WILL NOT LET YOU IN.

  2. @justatitch - Oh yes, Road Karma is a good thing. Sometimes I do let people in, and I appreciate it when others do the same to me. But when there's tons of room behind me and you EXPECT me to let you in right this second THAT's when I have a problem. Those that don't wait their turn drive me nuts.

  3. You and my wife would be best driving buddies. I'm more inclined to just hang out at cruising speeds and let the crazies go by. Not that you guys are crazy-crazy, just crazy drivers. I'm going to shut up now.

  4. I just emailed you a response to the comment you left me, then I realized that you didn't have your email address on your profile so you wouldn't get it! :) So, was SO, SO, SO good! I got the tomato soup, pan seared chicken and trellis cookies. To. Die. For. Everyone else tasted more adventurous options, but I played it safe. Definitely check it out! Let me know how you like it...

  5. I found your blog through The New Black and saw you were a fellow Seattleite :)


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